From Head To Heart

It is probable that most, if not all, searchers of themselves attend various workshops and seek experiences that can lead to and deepen their sense of self-awareness and self-actualization.

The majority of these experiences would be lost “like tears in rain” without some disciplined and organized memory tool. It is simply true that we are not necessarily “ready” to absorb and incorporate much of our experiences at such times. Fortunately, many group and seminar leaders have built in time for self-reflection and “journaling,” acknowledging this fact.

Writing in one’s Journal during intense growth experiences can be frustrating and very uncomfortable.

I learned a significant lesson in this regard.

At one time, I attended a series of weekend group sessions, which focused upon interpersonal communication skills. During one weekend, I was simply “not there.” I found myself severely distracted and unable to connect either with other participants or with myself. That entire weekend was a confusing disaster.

However, I forced myself to write in my Journal at every opportunity ... no matter how frustrating or difficult it was to do so. Still, at the end of the weekend, I considered the experience perfectly worthless.

Months later, I finished the Journal. Before storing it away, I browsed through its pages as I usually do before beginning a new book. Naturally, I found the pages from that weekend and read through them.

There it was: a small note in the margin. One of the women I considered most attractive in the group also was attracted to me. In that setting, her interest had resurfaced many of my most threatening teenage fears. Trapped between acceptance and rejection trauma in the impossible situation of the group, I had simply erected a barrier against all communication for safety.

A single note in the margin, apparently a random note flushed from the anguished struggle to write down my feelings and experiences, had slipped through a small, unguarded crack in the wall. It was the leverage that helped me to make some sense of and learn from the experience.

It often takes time for learning to move from the realm of mental awareness to realization, from the head to the heart. Reviewing your Journal can help to bring these hidden and forgotten experiences to life.

But, from where had this observation come?